A few years ago I wrote an essay for the Age of Autism about the holidays and the mixed feelings they bring. One point I made was that our family could no longer look like all the families in the beautiful Christmas cards I was receiving  because autism had changed everything. Not only were we sad and overwhelmed by daily life with autism, but the disorder had made it impossible for James to even pose for a picture so we couldn’t fake it even if we tried! But I also mentioned that our family had grown in ways that only struggles can induce and I was grateful for the saviour who came for the broken and for the hope found in the words of another struggling friend who said “somehow we hope the mystery of Love is birthed each day in being broken and being poured out.”

Four Christmas’s later we have a whole new “autism” to consider.  We have a son who is communicating in ways we never dreamed. He is cognitively and intellectually intact and has a life that we never imagined. But he still has many challenges and struggles. As much as I want him to “appear” normal and to live with ease it is still difficult. We had a family Christmas party this weekend and it was wonderful to see everyone but James didn’t do well.  He reverted back to some habits that he had when he could not communicate. These habits are slowly disappearing but they are hard and why do they seem worse when we are around extended family?  When we got back home he told me that he got overwhelmed at the party because “they all doubt me and see me as the autistic boy I was. I am not that boy anymore but I fall right back when I am with people who knew me then.”  I disagree with him about them seeing him that way but I understand that is how he feels.  I asked him to write about this experience for the blog and he kindly did!

I recently wrote an explanation for my poor behavior at a family event. Basically I became overwhelmed by everyone’s expectations that I ended up fitting them. My teacher tells me that this is normal, but autism makes it worse. People tend to judge based on looks. I look like I am stupid. Yet here I write this message. I cannot say my thoughts, I repeat dumb phrases, I cannot move right, and I am like a baby when I am upset, but I am smart and thoughtful. I wish people could ignore my appearance and know my soul, but that is human nature. It takes a special person to look beyond my autism.

My family was given this opportunity with RPM and they changed their view of me, but people I interact with infrequently have not had this opportunity. Therefore they expect autistic James instead of the teen I have become. I gave them a boy I no longer recognize and do not want to be. My message? Expect the best of others and see past how they look. Your attitude can make a difference.

I am fairly certain that most of us will never come close to understanding what it would be like to be locked away in silence and then be given a way out. All the children and adults who share this experience almost always say the same thing.  They are incredibly grateful and they want to help others with autism find their voice. Its remarkable and humbling and frankly I can’t get my heart or head around it most days so writing about it is difficult.  So for this Thanksgiving I will share the letter James wrote to us, his family.  I am going to repost the very first family message he wrote us which was last year on Thanksgiving. It was an acrostic and it was the first deep expression of his emotions.  For those of  you doing RPM with your children, note the change in complexity after one year.

THANKSGIVING 2013

Time for family

Have group fun time

Around the table

Nice plates with food

Know I am loved

So very much

Great laughter sounds until bedtime

I love nights like this one

Very tender treasured moments

I understand how speaking matters to you

Nothing else makes you so unworried about me

Grateful I can talk to you now

Thanksgiving 2014

Dear Family, we are gathered here to share our thankfulness and celebrate our blessings. We eat in this beautiful new kitchen surrounded by the people who made it possible. I have never loved my family more than this month. I have been able to talk to Jane, express my inner thoughts more freely, gain more control and make real friends. My family gave me the strength and opportunity to find myself and everyday I am thankful. I want to change the perception of autism, even one person at a time. I can do this because of you. I have done more this past year than I could have imagined. Meredith married Jack, Joe and Heather are engaged, Jane and I started writing a book, we travelled to Guatemala, and I attend real classes. I cannot thank God enough for these blessings on our family. I love you all, James.

We’ve been overly busy at home with a house renovation that is wrapping up soon but it has kept me from posting much of James’ writing!  One of his first assignments from his teacher this year at the Mclean Homeschool group was to write an essay to be submitted to the VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) annual essay contest. The prompt for the contest was the following: “Why Veterans are Important to our Nation’s History and Future”

Here is what James wrote.  (It is particularly special to me as my father is a veteran of two foreign wars and we have a dear neighbor across the street who is a WWII veteran who served in the South Pacific).

Veterans Day is a federal holiday, yet many neither observe it nor understand it. What is Veterans Day, exactly? It is a day to honor all previous members of the armed forces. Our veterans have done their duty and retired from or left honorably from the service to come home to limited employment opportunities. I see veterans holding signs on the street, asking for help, yet still saying, “God bless.” Employers fail to realize the skills veterans possess. All veterans are trained in more than combat; they learn discipline, leadership skills, and technical training. Our veterans have dedicated parts of their lives to serve this country and continue even after retirement. They are important to our country and therefore, deserve our support.

Veterans have kept the United States free. Indeed, those who have served are the reason our country persists after wars. They served as soldiers or provided other essential services. For example, as an entertainer during World War II, Mickey Rooney’s service provided morale. Once retired, he used his skills to influence civilians just as he always said: “Don’t retire, inspire. There’s a lot to be done.” Those men he entertained? They accomplished many feats including many huge victories, despite the gloomy circumstances. Veterans are the reason our country gained independence in 1776 and prevented secession in 1865. Despite the hard choice, they fought to preserve the Union and to abolish slavery. These veterans fought and then returned to rebuild our society. After the War for Independence and the Civil War new declarations had to be drafted. These documents, the Constitution and amendments to the Bill of Rights, still guide our country today. In other words, without the skills of our veterans, America would have a different present.

The current veterans have continued the actions of past veterans. Recent wars include the Korean War, the Vietnam Conflict, and the ongoing War on Terrorism, particularly in Iraq and
Afghanistan.  For instance, Ben Bradlee is a prime example of how current veterans impact our society after active duty. Bradlee served in the Navy in World War II. After the war he became the editor of the Washington Post, now a major newspaper, and oversaw the articles exposing the Watergate Scandal. We still rely on the newspaper that he made popular and he continues to shape its influence on society. There are numerous examples, in addition to Bradlee, of veterans continuing to improve our country even after active duty, yet those in our future may be more important.

Our future veterans are the soldiers currently in training, children in school, and children not yet born. Every day more soldiers enlist in the branches of the military. Our military is a voluntary force, yet America is full of patriots so we always have recruits. The military offers education, a career, training, and a job to be proud of. Wars will never be gone and we will always need soldiers; in other words, we will always have those who serve and then become veterans. Consider John Panaccione, a former 82nd Airborne paratrooper, who now owns LogicBay, a software company in Wilmington. In an effort to continue to serve his country for generations, he also co-founded the non-profit VetToCEO to help veterans become
entrepreneurs. This venture helps future veterans turn their military skills into a successful business. These veterans will be the future backbone of America via economics much like the founding veterans were in government.

Without any doubt, our veterans are essential and important. In the past, veterans helped create the foundations for our novel country. Now our veterans use their unique skills to contribute to society even after their service is complete. Our future veterans will have quite a model to fulfill, yet I have no doubts about their abilities. So long as we honor our veterans, they will rise to meet the challenges we face. America is only as strong as our patriotism, and our veterans are the epitome of patriots.

We’ve been away from our blog for over two weeks and there is so much to catch up on!  We just got back from a life changing trip to Guatemala, one which would never have been possible prior to RPM. Before we post about our trip to Guatemala I thought I would share some of the lessons James did with Elizabeth earlier in the month. They were discussing the constitution, the presidency, and innovations by inspiring Americans. Here is a sampling of James’ responses.

*Given all the risks and complications that come with being president, why would anyone want to do this job?   (James’ responses are in regular font, no longer in caps)

Being president is a hard job. It is the highest leader in the world. With this job comes huge risks.The rewards far outweigh the risks. The President is the leader the world looks to as a model for democracy.

The world may not agree with the president but he is a leader nonetheless. Because the president has to take a firm stand on the issues he is subject to public criticism and scrutiny. This is not something that most people would want to face. I don’t think I could handle this amount of judgment.   The president also has to face the possibility he might make some people so mad they try to kill him. Assassination is a very real possibility the president faces with each public appearance. Again, not something I would want to risk.   Finally, there are many rewards to being president. These include the chance to make a meaningful difference in the world and be the voice of democracy. This is the part of the presidency that does appeal to me. In conclusion, I am grateful there are people willing to accept the risks and rewards associated with being president. I am not that person but I can participate by voting!

 Thoughts on Innovators like the Wright Brothers 

Creative writing: can you think of another example of an innovative person that tried, failed, try again.. But regardless, they had no control over the outcome?

There have been many innovators who have faced failure after failure. The commonality is that they never gave up. I believe if you really want something you have to be willing to fail. I am going through this now in homeschool group. I am not going to give up even when it is hard. The end result is worth the failures!

Yesterday our family and friends went to the premier of a short film titled “The Power of Words”.  It was written and directed by 5 teens with autism, one of whom is James! Never short on ideas or vision for these kids Elizabeth Vosseller, James’ speech pathologist, came up with the idea to do a “film camp” this summer.  She hired professional film maker Emily Marquet to teach the teens about filmmaking and then help them make one of their very own that would describe what life is like with limited verbal expression and how it has changed with RPM. James was chosen to be “head writer” which suited him quite well and he was thrilled with the final product. He is proud to share it on our blog!

Grandparents day is celebrated on September 13 in the United States.  I don’t think James’ grandparents know this or have ever benefitted from it (sad to say) but I like to think we recognize them at other times during the year!  James’ SLP discussed grandparents day with him and asked him to write some universal truths about grandparents and then a short paragraph on the subject.

Grandparents are a great resource for a person to turn to when times are tough.

Grandmas are very sweet.

Grandmothers have tons of experience raising children.

Grandfathers are older gentleman with kind hearts.

Grandparents are the leaders of our families.

Grandparents like to brag about their grandkids.

I am so grateful to the older people in my life. They are such tremendous sources of wisdom and experience. My grandparents have always been accepting and supportive. I appreciate their love and place in our family. I only wish I got to see them more often. Some of my favorite times have been with my grandparents. The world is a better place because of our seniors.

I have to start this blog post with a confession, until yesterday I had no idea what the word kenning meant.  I vaguely remember studying Beowulf but can’t recall learning about kennings! For those of you who need a refresher here is a little bit about kennings taken from the British Library’s “Learning” website:

The language of Beowulf

Beowulf is much admired for the richness of its poetry – for the beautiful sounds of the words and the imaginative quality of the description. About a third of the words in Beowulf are words known as kennings.Kennings are words that are in themselves metaphorical descriptions, and were a typical feature of AS poetry. Kennings combine two words to create an evocative and imaginative alternative word. By linking words in this way, the poets were able to experiment with the rhythm, sounds and imagery of the poetry. Beowulf contains over a thousand kennings.

Some well-known Anglo-Saxon kennings include: bone-house (banhus ) – the human body;    battle-light (beadoleoma) – sword;    wave-floater (wægflota) – ship

James’ assignment was to write his own kennings.  I thought this was a hard assignment but he really enjoys the new work he is getting at the Homeschool Group so he did it with enthusiasm.

Some of James’ Kennings:

house-top-a roof

cushion-floor- a carpet

drink-tube- a straw

salt-lake -the ocean

owl-glasses-night vision goggles

bean-juice-coffee

For those of  you doing RPM you may want to try this as a lesson.  There is a lot you can do with it!

James’ teacher gives students timed essays throughout the year to prepare them for the SAT.  This week she let James write his outside of class and we are going to see if he is able in the future to do timed essays on the letter board. Here is the first writing prompt. He had a lot to say!

Many people are philanthropists, giving money to those in need. And many people believe that those who are rich—those who can afford to give the most—should contribute the most to charitable organizations. Others, however, disagree. Why should those who are more fortunate than others have more of a moral obligation to help those who are less fortunate?

Assignment: Should people who are more fortunate than others have more of a moral obligation to help those who are less fortunate? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations. 

THERE IS A LARGE DISCREPANCY BETWEEN SOCIAL CLASSES IN AMERICA. THE HIGHER SOCIAL CLASS HAS AN ABUNDANCE OF RESOURCES, WHERE AS THE LOWER SOCIAL CLASS STRUGGLES TO MEET BASIC NEEDS.  THE WORLD ALSO HAS THIS DISCREPANCY ON A LARGER SCALE. COUNTRIES BOND TOGETHER TO PROVIDE AID IN AN EFFORT TO HELP THE WORLD AS A WHOLE. THE MORE FORTUNATE IN AMERICA SHOULD GIVE MORE TO THE LESS FORTUNATE IN SOCIETY.

RESEARCHERS STATE THAT HUMANS HAVE BASIC NEEDS THAT NEED TO BE MET TO SURVIVE. THESE INCLUDE FOOD, WATER, AND SHELTER. THE RICH CAN AFFORD HEALTHY FOOD, UNLIKE THE POOR WHO OFTEN EAT WHATEVER THEY CAN, IF ANYTHING. ALSO WATER IS OFTEN SCARCE AND NOT CLEAN FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE HOMELESS. MANY MORE FORTUNATE PEOPLE HAVE MULTIPLE HOUSES, WHILE OTHERS LESS FORTUNATE LIVE HOMELESS.  WE ARE MAKING CHOICES TO LET PEOPLE STRUGGLE WHEN WE DO NOT HELP THEM.

IN OUR HISTORY THE  UNITED STATES HAS LEAD THE DEVELOPED COUNTRIES IN THEIR MISSION TO AID THE THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES. THEY SEND FOOD, MEDICINE, AND PEOPLE TO HELP COMMUNITIES DEVELOP. AS A COUNTRY WE HELP THE LESS FORTUNATE, SO AS INDIVIDUALS WE SHOULD AS WELL. WE USE TOURISM TO BOOST DEVELOPING ECONOMIES SO WE SHOULD ALSO SHOP LOCAL BUSINESSES. IF YOU HAVE GOOD RESOURCES YOU SHOULD SUPPORT YOUR COMMUNITY JUST AS OUR COUNTRY SUPPORTS THE WORLD.

RESOURCES ARE PRECIOUS AND SHOULD BE CONSERVED. WHEN PEOPLE LACK BASIC NEEDS THEY GENERALLY BECOME SICK AND NEED MEDICAL CARE.. IF WE AS A SOCIETY PROVIDED THE BASIC NEEDS THEN WE MAY PREVENT FUTURE MEDICAL BILLS. HELPING PEOPLE LESS FORTUNATE HELPS ALL OF SOCIETY.

THE FORTUNATE HAVE THE MORAL OBLIGATION TO HELP THOSE LESS FORTUNATE. THERE ARE MANY BENEFITS TO ALL OF SOCIETY. IT  HELPS PROVIDE THE BASIC NEEDS AND IMPROVES QUALITY OF LIFE FOR THOSE LESS FORTUNATE. IT ALSO DECREASES THE FUTURE BURDEN ON SOCIETY.  IMPORTANTLY, GOD INTENDED FOR HIS PEOPLE TO CARE FOR EACH OTHER. IT IS A MORAL OBLIGATION FOR ALL PEOPLE TO HELP OTHERS, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE MORE RESOURCES.

I am happy to report a successful first day of school with the home school group James has joined.  The parents and students made him feel very welcome and he really liked the lecture style of his new teacher. It was interesting and challenging for him. These are a few of the things he said; when asked to introduce himself with one thing that would help others know him he spelled, HI I AM JAMES. I LOVE TO LISTEN TO BOOKS ON TAPE. And to Shannon and me while we were sitting in class he spelled I AM ALWAYS GOING TO LOVE IT HERE.  And at the end of the day  he said IT WAS HARD TO CONTROL MY BODY BUT I DID IT!

In this first week there are so many examples of how different life is now that James has RPM.  One of them is the contrast  in first week homework assignments! Last year as I have mentioned we were just beginning to get a handle on where James might be academically so the assignment was to learn how to conduct a simple interview. He was given a set of about 5 questions and was to gather the information from various family members. We quickly moved on from there but see below for this year’s first week assignments! All I can say is “oh what a difference a year can make”!

Literature homework for Tuesday, September 9: (1) Read lines 1-836 of Beowulf. Throughout your reading of the book, watch for the development of the themes of loyalty, reputation, generosity (comitatus), hospitality, envy, and revenge.  (2) In modern English, create a list of ten of your own kennings that refer to people, places, objects, or events in your daily life. Include the kennings, which must consist of two hyphenated nouns, and “true” definitions. Be prepared to trade with another student your list of kennings.  (3) Write at least two informative, “teach-the-class” identification sentences about each of the following: Shield Sheafson, Beow, Hrothgar, Heorot, Grendel, Beowulf, Wulfgar, Ecgtheow, Unferth, Wealhtheow; include any pertinent symbolism or thematic relevance in your answers. Be prepared to share your answers with the class before you turn them in on September 9.
Note: As you are reading the weekly assignments, mark text or take notes for the culmination essay, due October 7: What role does religion, Christian and pagan, play in Beowulf? Support your theses with line references in parentheses (parenthetical citations). Your final paper must be 700-900 words in length.  Outline required!

American History homework for Tuesday, September 9: (1) Read, study, and make flash cards for all the Section Reviews of Chapter 1 ofHeritage of Freedom. Your flash cards should include all the “Identify” terms in the assigned Section Reviews and other important terms found in the reading assignment, bring your flash cards to class. (2) Copy and answer the numbered items in the assigned Section Reviews.