Yesterday we learned about another boy with autism who through RPM is starting a new life. His mother is blogging like I am and so we read a recent post of theirs where Phillip talks about how tiring it is to control his body when it doesn’t respond normally. He says that just trying to control his impulses is a monumental task and leaves him exhausted everyday. This is James’ response to reading Phillip’s post.
I CAN IDENTIFY WITH PHILIP. MY BRAIN AND BODY SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE STRANGERS WHO HATE EACH OTHER. THEY REFUSE TO GET ALONG. MY BRAIN WORKS WELL ON ITS OWN. I CAN THINK, LEARN AND COMPREHEND. MY BRAIN WORKS IN OVERDRIVE. I THINK AND REFLECT ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT. I SOMETIMES WISH MY BRAIN WOULD JUST BE QUIET. HOWEVER, IT JUST KEEPS GOING. MY AUTHENTIC SELF IS CONTAINED IN MY HEART, SOUL AND BRAIN. MY AUTHENTIC SELF IS NOT REPRESENTED WELL BY MY BODY. MY BODY CONSTANTLY BETRAYS ME. IT MAKES ME FURIOUS ALL THE TIME. I AM NOT IN CHARGE OF MY BODY. MY BRAIN IS NOT IN CHARGE OF MY BODY. MY BODY IS A RENEGADE WHO IS OUT OF CONTROL. YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL IF YOUR BODY LISTENS TO YOU BECAUSE MY BODY DOES NOT. I AM WORKING TO NEGOTIATE PEACE BETWEEN MY BODY AND MY BRAIN SO THEY MIGHT START TO GET ALONG. ONE BREAKTHROUGH HAS BEEN ON THE LETTER BOARD. TO FINALLY COMMUNICATE BY POINTING TO LETTERS IS THE FIRST SIGN OF COOPERATION. I REMAIN HOPEFUL.