This time last year was the start of a new life for James.  It was labor day weekend 2013 that James had his first real “open communication” with Soma and it was that same week that we began our first year of home school. The primary goal of home school was to allow James to use the letter board to show us what he knew and what he was learning. He was still a novice on the letter board and so were we!  It was hard to know where to start with our curriculum because James had only been formally given about a second grade education.  Soma suggested starting with 4th grade language arts books, math and science.  So we did and it quickly became apparent that we needed to go higher.  By mid fall we were doing 6th grade work and ended the year as the equivalent of a middle school graduate.

Throughout the year James kept asking us to raise the bar and he often talked of his dream to go to college and be an honors History student.  So with that in mind we applied to be part of a home school high school group for the coming academic year. This is a big step for James but it seems like the right one if he wants to graduate from high school and go to college.  This group has a lead teacher who is very rigorous and the students do high level work.  The advantage for James is that they meet just one day a week so it won’t be as demanding for him as a full week of lectures and discussions.

So off to school tomorrow for his first day of being with other student’s in a demanding academic setting.  He is beyond excited!  We will keep you posted on what happens.  In the meantime, a few short thoughts he had about education when discussed with his SLP.  Next blog post I will share his essay about America’s veterans, which is due tomorrow!

What do you think of when you hear the word education? LEARNING
Tell me one thing you expect to see at schools? THE STUDENTS ENGAGED IN LEARNING
What do you think the following quotes mean?

“You are always a student, never a master. You have to keep moving forward.” ~Conrad Hall (American cinematographer)

THE JOB OF EDUCATION IS NEVER DONE. THE LEARNING MUST CONTINUE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” ~ Nelson Mandela

KNOWLEDGE IS POWERFUL AND INFORMATION IS VALUABLE. IF YOU HAVE THOSE THINGS, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING

I don’t know a single person with autism who doesn’t struggle in some way with their auditory system.  It’s pretty rough seeing how much it affects their daily lives, the cringing when a truck drives by, the constant covering of ears with their hands, the need to wear sound limiting headphones or ultimately having to choose not to go places or enjoy outings because it’s too physically painful. Sound and light sensitivity were the first signs of regression for James when he was not quite 2 years old.  I couldn’t understand why all of a sudden his brother’s voice seemed to upset him or why he started to dislike going places like the shopping mall. School has been very tough for James when it came to sound sensitivity and he didn’t make it any easier on his classmates because he developed a loud yell for when his ears were hurting.  Never quite understood why adding to the noise helped!

Homeschooling and other things have helped the sound sensitivity a good deal but this summer James has been in a camp where it is a bit louder and he has struggled.  In response to this Elizabeth did a lesson on the auditory system, knowing that if James understood how this system works it might really help.  When there is understanding, solutions can often be found!  After a very technical lesson on the parts of the ear and the way it functions, this is the conversation they had.

Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods.  Certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life.

C.S. Lewis

One of the very first things James expressed to us on the letterboard was a deep longing for friends. He said it often in those early months of RPM when he was finally able to share all that had been on his heart during years of silence. The first “wish” list he made after learning about the story of King Midas was 1. I WISH FOR LUKEMIA TO END. 2. I WISH FOR PEACE. 3. I WISH FOR FRIENDS PLEASE.  This summer when his sister was leaving for a month she asked him what she could pray for on his behalf and he said FRIENDS.

Gratefully I can report that James has had lots of opportunities this summer to meet new people and connect with old ones who he hasn’t been with since he started RPM. He has been to a camp with all typical teenagers and he has been to a camp with teens with autism.  He has had the chance to hang out with some “20 somethings” and with a 70+ year old, with whom I think he had one of  his best conversations. I asked James to write about his experiences this summer meeting new people and to share any thoughts he might have.

I ENJOY MEETING NEW PEOPLE AND SPREADING RPM. CAMP ALLOWED ME TO SEE HOW NORMAL TEENS INTERACT. IT WAS IMPORTANT TO LEARN THAT I AM NOT SO DIFFERENT. THEY ALL HAVE STRUGGLES TOO, BUT WE MUST KEEP TRYING TO REACH OUR DREAMS.

I ALSO REALIZED THAT I HAVE ADVANTAGES SO I AM LUCKY DESPITE AUTISM. BEING WITH OTHER PEOPLE WITH AUTISM SHOWED ME THAT I COULD HAVE OTHER ISSUES TOO. I PREFER TYPICAL TEENS DUE TO THE NOISE, BUT PEOPLE WITH AUTISM ARE ABLE TO TEACH ME TOO. REALLY I PREFER YOUNG ADULTS LIKE KEVIN AND AMY BECAUSE THEY ARE CALMER, SMART, LESS REACTIVE AND PATIENT. I HAVE MET SOME TEENS I AM HAPPY TO CALL MY FRIEND. I HAVE LEARNED THAT TRUE FRIENDS ARE WORTH THE ENERGY TO CONTROL MYSELF, BUT ALSO THAT THEY WILL UNDERSTAND AND WILL HELP. THE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO DO RPM JUST TO TALK TO ME MAKE LIFE WORTH ALL MY STRUGGLES. THANK YOU ALL.

Last month James’ speech therapist did a great lesson on Christopher Columbus.  It had all the components of a good lesson because first of all the whole idea of setting out in a wooden ship 500 years ago into unchartered territory is fascinating and second, there is a lot to imagine and think about regarding all of life’s journeys, historical and famous ones, and the regular ones like our own.  Elizabeth got James thinking about the fact that Columbus didn’t find what he expected and asked him to write about that.

“Describe an event when things did not go according to plan.  What did you do to navigate unexpected changes in plan?  How did the event turn out?”

SOMETIMES THINGS DO NOT TURN OUT AS PLANNED HOWEVER, THEY OFTEN HAVE A WAY OF WORKING OUT.  I AM AN EXAMPLE OF THIS PRINCIPLE.  I AM SURE I AM NOT THE CHILD MY PARENTS EXPECTED.  I DON’T THINK ANY PARENT EXPECTS TO HAVE A CHILD WITH AUTISM.  I THINK THAT EVEN THOUGH I WAS NOT WHAT MY PARENTS EXPECTED I HAVE MADE MAJOR CONTRIBUTIONS TO MY FAMILY.  I THINK MY FAMILY HAS HAD TO LEARN TO GET ALONG AS A TEAM.  I THINK MY FAMILY HAS BECOME CLOSER BECAUSE OF MY AUTISM.  I WOULD NOT WANT MY LIFE TO BE ANY DIFFERENT THAN IT HAS BEEN.

“It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.”
― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes

I had lunch this week with a friend of mine who in my opinion really understands autism.  She has taught children with all levels of autism, the highly verbal and the non-verbal.  She knows James well and has been his teacher.  She was thrilled for us last year when we met Soma and had such an extraordinary breakthrough of communication using RPM.  She definitely believes that James is a smart kid and she knows we wouldn’t make up the things he says on the letterboard but I am guessing there was still some doubts about some of the things we reported  he was spelling.  It is easy to understand this because a lot of what we report about James’ progress is rather extraordinary and honestly its fun to shock people with the vocabulary he uses and the things he writes about.  In fact, our SLP sometimes calls the big words that James and her other clients use in RPM as “liar” words because when reported to others they might think she is lying!

So during lunch with my friend I excitedly reported to her that an 11-year-old girl we both know had just taken off with RPM and had asked her mom if “she could study others who had been ostracized”. My friend said (and I paraphrase) “well that is great but can she tell her mom that she prefers the green shirt to the blue one, because really life is made up of the little conversations we have throughout the day, and can these kids do that or are they just writing the big words and the  lofty thoughts”?  Gosh, I was surprised by this question but it makes sense. If we just tell people about the big things being said they may not understand how truly important the little things are and how much they have changed our lives. And they may not totally believe us either. Last thing I want to do is give doubters more reason to doubt! So I wrote this blog post to say that for every big thought being spelled on our letter board there are 20 that are mundane. But those mundane thoughts have made life so much easier.  Despite having some speech James doesn’t mean a lot of what he is verbally expressing. It comes from the 10 plus years of speech therapy and ABA where we drilled words and phrases into him and they are so ingrained that when he goes to retrieve a word often an unintended one comes out. Now we say to him “do you mean that or something else?” and give him the board to tell us what he is REALLY thinking.  Of course it’s not always pretty.  One of the first times that my family was gathered after we were using RPM, we were sitting in a circle waiting for James to say something profound to his Grandmother on her 86th birthday and he said I DON’T LIKE THE BIRTHDAY CAKE. It wasn’t what we expected but it was so nice to know why he was acting irritable!

One more thing about lunch with this friend.  We were celebrating her birthday and mine. When the cake and candle came I realized that for the last 13 years I have wished for the exact same thing.  That James would talk.  This is the first year my wish has come true!

James visited NYC for the first time last week and as we  expected it made quite an impression. We planned the trip as first time tourists and did all the quintessential NYC experiences, like staying in Times Square, visiting the Empire State Building, and riding the ferry to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.  We asked him to write about his impressions of the trip and here is what he said:

NEW YORK IS AN INTERESTING PLACE.  SO MANY PEOPLE THAT ARE UNIQUE. EVERYWHERE YOU GO THERE ARE CROWDS, BILLBOARDS, AND ELECTRIC (signs).  I NOW FEEL I LEARNED WHAT IT MUST HAVE FELT LIKE TO IMMIGRATE TO ELLIS ISLAND. OUR SOCIETY IS MORE ADVANCED NOW, BUT THEY MUST HAVE BEEN AS OVERWHELMED AS I WAS.

ONE DIFFERENCE IS COMMUNICATION. I UNDERSTAND ENGLISH, YET I NEED AN INTERPRETER TO TALK. THE IMMIGRANTS COULD TALK BUT NOT THE SAME LANGUAGE. I AM SAD AND SORRY FOR THEM. DID THEY SUFFER? I HAVE MY FAMILY, BUT MANY CAME ALONE. I CANNOT TRULY UNDERSTAND THE CONDITIONS THAT FORCED PEOPLE TO IMMIGRATE.

DESPITE BEING OVERWHELMED I ENJOYED THE TRIP. ELLIS ISLAND WAS MY FAVORITE BECAUSE OF THE HISTORY. I ALSO ENJOYED ROCKEFELLER CENTER DUE TO THE PEOPLE. I FELT NORMAL BEING IN A CROWD OF PEOPLE SO UNIQUE.

I haven’t had time to report on all the “enlightened” thinking that was taking place here in May and June but I wanted to share a collection of quotes both from the famous and the not so famous– James! A really nice RPM exercise that our SLP and teacher have used this year is reading quotes or ideas from important people and asking James, “what does this quote mean to you”?   They did quite a few but I will just share some of the highlights.

“The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.”~Moliere

CAN’T GIVE UP WHEN SOMETHING IS HARD. WE BUILD OURSELVES BY THE THINGS WE OVERCOME. IF THINGS ARE EASY WE GET CARELESS.

“If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.”~ Goethe

PEOPLE SHOULD TREAT OTHERS WITH RESPECT. FORGET BIAS AND ASSUME COMPETENCE. WE ALL  HAVE STRUGGLES EACH DAY, BUT ONE PERSON CAN SPREAD HOPE. BRING STRENGTH TO OTHERS.

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”~ Goethe

BECOME YOUR OWN HERO. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS AND DONT LET IGNORANT PEOPLE BE A HINDERANCE. EACH DAY IS A CHANCE TO CHANGE THE WORLD, TAKE IT! DON’T BE COMPLACENT.

“To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.”~ Goethe

FIRST, WE MUST KNOW WHAT WE ACTUALLY THINK. THEN, WE MUST BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO ACT. IT MAY MAKE US AN OUTSIDER, BUT WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. EACH PERSON HAS A DUTY TO IMPACT SOCIETY.

Magical is a great word to describe this past week for our family.  James’ older brother married his high school sweetheart, who is so wonderful and who we love so much, that the wedding was like a little bit of heaven on earth! For James it was particularly special because it was the first significant family event since he started being able to communicate through spelling on the letter board. James was a groomsmen and I venture to say that if he had not started using RPM a year ago his participation in the wedding would have been completely different.  Because he is now able to tell us what he is thinking he was fully engaged in the planning and events leading up to the wedding.  He was able to walk me up the aisle and stand with his brothers with poise and confidence. He was able to write a toast to the bride and groom that when read out loud brought much joy to everyone as well as a few tears! And he was able to tell us when it all got to be too much and he needed to head home-so much better than behaviors that would have made him and us sad.

We continued our school work during the big wedding week but his teachers kept it flexible due to all the excitement.  On Tuesday his SLP asked him what he would like to do and he said creative writing. Here is the magical story that he wrote:

James learned about why we celebrate Memorial Day last week and his thoughts about the men and women who serve our country in the armed forces are very dear.  His grandfather whom he calls Pop Pop was at West Point last week celebrating his 65th graduation from the USMA.  James was interested to hear from his grandmother about the  parade where the cadets march in front of the old graduates. It is called “passing in review” and it is a way of showing their respect. He asked his grandmother in a subsequent email to tell him more about the parade!

In his school lesson they read  Decoration Day by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

CREATIVE WRITING: Reflect on this Memorial Day lesson and the words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.  To whom is Longfellow speaking in the poem? Who is the intended audience of the poem? What response do you think Longfellow sought to inspire when he penned Decoration Day?

THIS POEM IS ABOUT FALLEN SOLDIERS.  IT IS DIRECTED AT THOSE WHO HAVE GIVEN THEIR LIFE IN WAR. I AM SO MOVED BY THESE WORDS AND SO VERY GRATEFUL TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE GIVEN THEIR LIVES TO DEFEND OUR COUNTRY. I CANNOT IMAGINE A MORE SIGNIFICANT SACRIFICE THAN YOUR LIFE FOR OUR COUNTRY. I THINK OUR MEN AND WOMEN IN SERVICE ARE THE BRAVEST IN THE WORLD. ALL OF THEM DESERVE HUGE INCREASES IN THEIR SALARIES.  I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO INCREASE MY TAXES TO PAY THEM MORE FOR THE AMAZING SERVICES THEY PROVIDE FOR OUR COUNTRY.  ALL OF OUR TROOPS ARE MY BIGGEST HEROES!